Often times we cannot say no to offers that we cannot say no, there may be times when we are afraid of hurting the other person in the face of an offer that is not our priority or we do not want to accept at all, when we are afraid of losing him, not being liked by him, rejected by him or even being alone.
What Should I Do For A Better Life?
As a social being, people are in a balance in every moment of life to be accepted by society, appreciated, valued, and intertwined with society, yes these can be good for the life of the individual, but not by saying yes to everything!
Negative automatic thoughts in our lives such as "If I say no, people don't like me, they think I am bad", "If I say no, I lose it and I can be alone", "If I say no, they think bad about me" can force us not to say "No". In this article, we will see how we can say "No" to situations that we do not want.
The main reason for all these negative automatic thoughts is that we once said yes to whatever people want. Because we do something that we do not want in our lives just to prevent someone else from hurt, the effort we put against our life becomes very worthless when we spend it. Thanks to this, someone else can have a direct impact on your life, which is due to the fact that we do not fully reveal our limits and principles. So what are these limits?
Reconsidering Our Boundaries And Principles
When we reconsider our own boundaries and principles and set limits against what we do not want, it will be easier to be able to say no to things that are not our priority. So how ;
1. Make no plans: Take short notes when you feel no pressure and pressure to say "yes" to any situation, create limits and principles for situations or proposals where you cannot say no, this can be for every situation where you cannot say no, for example: What evenings You can go out, when you can spare time for yourself when you can spend time with your family, who can talk to you what, So create your own principles, revise and define the boundaries and principles in your life and then say NO, the other party will react less to you, because your limits and principles in your life certain no one can cross your limits!
2. After determining the boundaries and principles and saying no: Making long explanations, the other party may think that you are insecure and force you to accept the offer, with a straight stance and a clear expression "No, I don't want it right now, this is not my priority"
Healthy Being Able To Say No Methods
Sandwich Method: Placing a no between two positive sentences. Actually, I would have liked to do this, but I'm not eligible right now. We can try it another time.
Putting time in between: We may not have the courage to say no at any moment. Putting time in between relaxes us. "I'm not available to answer that right now, can we talk in an hour?"
Make it aware that they may have their own priorities: Let me first look at my schedule and see if I am suitable. Then I can answer you.
The behavior of not being able to say no changes by saying no, as you do this behavior, negative automatic thoughts such as "If I say no, I will lose it and I can be alone", "If I say no, they think badly about me" will change and in fact, when you say "no", you do not lose anything and you are not considered badly. and you will see that you are still loved…
Being able to say no allows you to set your limits, no one can intervene in your life unless you want to, and they know where to stop. Because you have already taught them this...